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something that needs nothing


Happiness consists in realizing it is all a great strange dream

Jack Kerouac

This is me.

I believe in first impressions. I have a hard time leaving the house unless I look my best. I'll sing any song I know, even if I hate it. I pretty much think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. And, who are you to judge? Maybe I am. I have this barrier around me. It's nearly inpenetrable. But if you make it in, I love you forever. There is nothing you can do to be thrown from that. In terms of love, I do it too soon, possibly too strongly. It often gets me in trouble, and I'm always scaring people away. I was once married. I was once a stay at home mom. Now, I am just Ashlie. I'm trying to regather myself to find out who "just Ashlie" is. I have to say, it's going very well indeed. I'm loyal to a fault. A stead fast friend. I forgive easily. I just want to find the best in people. I want to believe that every man is not the same. I think I may have proof of that now. :D I am indecisive. I hate making the wrong choice. I suffer frequent bouts of depression. I wish I looked this good in high school.

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.

Jumping in puddles. Dancing in the rain. Trashy horror movies. Chick flicks with my besties. Music that is too loud. Drinks that are way too strong. Laughing loudly. Books that suck me in. Television that makes me yell and throw things. Green Bay Football. Sleeping naked with my love. Laying in bed all day, watching movies. Blush wine. Camel 9 100's. (in the black and pink box) Friends that don't know when to shut their mouths. Diet coke. Religious Jewelry. Learning. Healthcare. Nerdy boys. Especially those that can back it up. Swing dancing. Getting lost in my memories all night. Watching the sunrise with the one I love. Double stuffed oreo cookies. 16 oz Double shot mint chocolate mochas. (Creme de menthe, not peppermint) Late nights at Denny's. And memories of spoon-noodle-getters. Quotes. Old school hip hop. My daughters laughs. Having plans. Making lists. Not accomplishing a single thing on said list. Training dogs. Breaking bad habits. Loving with every fiber of my being. Acknowledging my mistakes and growing from them. Surrenduring all control in a situation.